When you set up a profile on an online dating app, what are you looking for? Many using dating apps to find casual connections — friends, friends with benefits, sex, or maybe even a one-night stand. Others take to Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and the rest in search of something more. But in the world of online dating, can you actually find real, lasting love by swiping right? And, more importantly, do millennials even want to?
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According to some researching, as many as 83% of millennials would prefer to meet the loves of their life IRL, not on a dating app. It makes sense: There's nothing quite like an organic spark with someone you meet out in the wild.
However, dating culture has significantly changed since the rise of the apps; so even though millennials might want to meet someone IRL instead of online, swiping left and right is widely considered the most common way to meet someone new. In fact, since 2013, more heterosexual people have met their partners online than any other way.
Despite the success of dating apps, they do have their limitations. Much like social media, dating apps can create a false sense of comparison between you and the people you're swiping on. In fact, according to one study, people who haven't used dating apps at all tend to view themselves more positively than those who have. Additionally, millennials are more likely to actually feel addicted to dating apps, which could lead to dating burnout — and subsequently, far less of a chance of finding love.
These are the best dating apps to help you find exactly what you’re looking for, in no particular order. Great if: You’re looking for something easy right now. I won’t sermonize.
For Bustle's Digital Love, a series that explores dating and relationships in the digital age, we sat down with a group of millennials to discuss whether or not they've found love on a dating apps. Hear their stories — some of them wins, some of them losses — in the video above.
Executive Creative Director: Lauren Sofair
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The online dating revolution started more than a decade ago with numerous success stories emerging month after month.
However, despite all the happily ever afters, there is still a lot of stigma and criticism of internet romance. Skeptics simply do not think that you can find love on a dating app with the few success stories dismissed as flukes.
Are they right?
Is online dating a huge waste of time with no chances of success? Or is it the key to finding a crush vs love in a day and age where life seems to be in fast-forward mode?
Below is all you need to know about the skeptics’ points of view and why they are so tragically wrong.
To be honest, claims made by critics against online dating are not entirely without merit.
What makes online dating so hard?
Online dating is hard and has a significant failure rate.
Why?
Because as with offline relationships, online ones have their fair share of setbacks as well. And these setbacks make it difficult for people to succeed in finding love online and forming lasting relationships.
5 online dating challenges to overcome when looking for true love on dating apps:
It takes time to find the perfect match
The internet might make it easy to find connections quickly, but this is not a guarantee that it will be a perfect match.
This is one of the most frustrating things about online dating! You think you have escaped the long wait only to find yourself draining yourself of the very last drops of patience trying to find that right person for you.
It is basically like a long-distance relationship
Another major challenge that affects the success of online dating is distance. People often underestimate the power of physical contact in relationships, especially with mobile dating apps such as this 100% free online dating site.
Flirty texts and hour-long phone calls can only sustain your relationship so long. If you do not invest in getting to know each other offline and in person, the chances are that your relationship might not survive the distance.
It is a new concept we are still getting used to
Online dating might be a few decades old, but we still haven’t gotten the hang of it.
What is acceptable or unacceptable? What is your role? There are so many unanswered questions about this mystery, and uncertainty contributes to the skeptics’ case.
The fact that there seems to be no protocol or definite way of doing things limits the chances of success with online dating.
Maybe you have a direct style and would prefer to go straight into asking someone out than wasting time with small talk. If your matches do not feel that this is how online dating should work, then you will have problems.
This is just an example from many other discrepancies in people’s opinions of exactly how the process should work. And the differences do not exactly make match-finding easier.
Too many people are in it for casual flings
This is a challenge that people who are looking for serious long-term relationships face. Many online dating services have become platforms for casual hookups or men looking to have an affair with an older woman.
It is not what they were designed for, but it is definitely what people have turned them into. So, you might be in for a rude shock if you go to some of these websites looking for a lifelong partner.
The cognitive overload phenomenon
Have you ever gone to the supermarket and found yourself stuck in one aisle because you couldn’t decide which of the two cereal brands to pick? Yeah, that is exactly what online dating is like, only on a larger scale!
Having options is a great thing. However, it can also be the reason why you aren’t finding love online.
Having so many profiles to browse and people to choose from could overload your brain. This makes it hard to form real connections as you are always distracted and wondering whether there is someone better out there.
Overcoming the challenges – how to find love online
So far, one thing is clear – online dating is hard. However, this does not in any way mean that you cannot really find love on these platforms. The good news is that to every argument made by skeptics, there is an effective solution.
Below are a few tips that should help you get the most out of these dating apps and help you find your true love.
Know what you want and be clear about it
Defining the desired nature of the relationship you are looking for is very important. There is nothing wrong with wanting a casual fling. There is also nothing wrong with wanting the real deal with a successful offline relationship and the whole package.
You need to be confident in your choices and also ready to share your expectations with anyone you are interested in.
Being honest about this is the best way to ensure that you not only get what you want but also avoid disappointment. It also helps you narrow down to sites that will offer you exactly what you want.
Use recent and realistic photos of yourself
There is a lot of trust involved in making online dating work. The last thing you want to do is start things off disingenuously.
First impressions matter a lot on these sites, and they tend to last. And like it or not, what people see on your profile picture is a huge part of that.
So take the “what you see is what you get” approach and make the photos flattering but realistic and, most importantly, real.
Put some thought into writing your bio
If you have ever tried online dating, you know how real the concept of “plenty of fish in the sea” is on different platforms. You are not the only good looking one on there, so photos alone will not help you stand out.
Your personality could be what makes the difference between mindless matching and true intrigue. And the latter is exactly what you want if true love is your end goal. You have to get them curious to get to know more, and a catchy bio is the best way to do it.
Stay open-minded
We all have our types, whether it is a specific hair color and aesthetic or even a personality style. If you want online dating to work for you in terms of a long term commitment, you will have to throw that checklist out of the window and go in with an open mind.
There are all sorts of awesome people on these platforms. So give them a chance. You don’t have to try and match with everyone on the site. But if someone catches your eye, you shouldn’t dismiss them because they don’t meet a certain expectation.
Look for red flags
Finding Love On Dating Apps Full
Things will be fantastic at first as you get to know each other. However, you should not let the rose-colored glasses blind you.
Don’t forget that this is an absolute stranger you are dealing with. Therefore, constant vigilance is a must if you want to protect your heart.
Keep your eyes peeled for red flags and run when you spot them.
Don’t stick to only one match
Another tip if you’re trying to figure out how to find love online is to diversify. There is always the temptation with online dating to fall for the first person who gives you real attention. This happens a lot, especially if you haven’t been having any luck with love in the real world.
The best thing to do is play the field and get a better idea of what is out there. Get to know more people and figure out what you do and do not like.
However, don’t let this go on too long as it could hinder your ability to form genuine connections.
Stay active
If you really want to find true love online, then you have to commit to the process. You cannot just set up your profile and expect fate to do the rest.
You need to be active on the platform, match with as many profiles that stand out as possible, and actually make efforts to interact with them. You also need to log in and switch things up on your profile regularly.
This will help you beat the algorithm and increase your visibility, and with it, your chances of finding awesome matches.
Be patient
Finding Love On Dating Apps
Love takes time. It doesn’t matter whether you met on a mainstream site, on a vegan dating site, or at the local library.
Finding Love On Dating Apps Without
Patience allows you to take your time getting to know people you met online. Get to know who they are, what they like, and whether you would like to date them in real life. That way, you will not pressure yourself or rush into settling with someone who will not make you happy.
Use intelligent matchmaking
This will help solve the cognitive overload problem. If you are tired of being spoilt for choice, then consider online dating apps and websites with intelligent matchmaking services like the dating sites reviewed by DatingInspector.
Find My Love Dating Site
These matchmaking services narrow things down for you, allowing you to interact with singles who would most likely be your perfect match. Most of these services require you to fill out forms and personality test sheets to make their job easier and more successful.
Move things offline as soon as possible
Online dating creates a kind of safe bubble that can make you and your love interest complacent. It also, unfortunately, does not always paint a complete picture of what you are going to be dealing with.
Therefore, planning offline dates as soon as possible is a great way to move things in the right direction. Just make sure to choose a public activity for your safety and something you both share an interest in to avoid awkwardness.
Finding Love Without Dating Apps
So, can you find your love on dating apps?
The answer is YES in all caps, highlighted and underlined. You can and will find true love on dating sites.
All you have to do is be smart about your approach. Figure out what you want, put yourself out there, and be patient as your online cupids work their magic.